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Serious_Business_Presents
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Name: Serious
Gender: Male
Interests: Serious Business
Expertise: Serious Business
Occupation: Serious Business
Industry: Serious Business
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Member Since:
9/3/2006
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This is Serious Business. This week we have one story that takes precedence over all others. Anything we had planned for this update just got thrown out the fucking window and this is the most Serious Business of the day, maybe for all of modern times. It's right up there with serious global climate shifts due to global warming and no, we didn't forget, the 5th anniversary of the 11th of Sept terrorist attacks. Those are both Serious Business, but like I said, this story takes precedence.
This week's Serious Business has to do with all of humanity. The very existence of our planet hangs in the balance. Apparently some scientists have built what is called a Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland. It works similar to a particle accelerator and is designed to create mini-black holes in a laboratory environment. They smash a few particles of matter into each other, and for a split second (0.00000000000000000000000001 seconds to be exact) they have a mini-black hole. The reason for the short period of time is because black holes naturally give off radiation and since they are so small, the tiniest bit of matter expelled from them means their impending doom, so really they're very unstable black holes. This process repeats itself once every second, creating a mini-black hole each time.
What makes this so Serious? Well, for those of you that don't know how black holes work, they are what atoms are not. Atoms, of course, have a nucleus made up of protons and neutrons with electrons orbiting the nucleus from a great distance. To put it in perspective, if an atom's nucleus were the size of a pencil's eraser, the electrons would be orbiting at a distance of roughly 2 American football fields. So yes, most of everything in existence is empty space. Black holes, as stated earlier, are not like atoms. Think of that 2 football field area as being completely filled with nuclei. You should now be getting an idea for how dense black holes are, and why they have so much gravity that not even light can escape them. It's kind of like crushing cans or trash in a trash compactor. The mass of the trash doesn't change, you just force the air (or empty space) out, allowing for more matter to be forced into the same space.
Getting on to the laboratory side of this, the point is that these experiments have never been done. So the theory that these "mini-black holes" will decay as soon as they are made are just that: a theory. There is the slight possibility that one of these black holes will stay stable, eventually falling through the concrete floor of the laboritory (cuz remember, the mini-black hole is smaller than atoms and can therefore move through them), eventually running into other atom's nuclei, gaining mass and therefore gravitational force. Eventually it will move to the center of the Earth where it will very slowly gain mass until *poof*, the planet all of a sudden gets sucked into the black hole. No warning. Just gone. The entirety of the Earth would become a large disk for a split second and then be collapsed into a glob of matter the size of a baseball.
And it should be noted that since the mass of Earth doesn't change the Moon would still orbit us...along with those poor guys on the International Space Station who would really be wondering why they can't see the Earth any more.
Most of what we covered can be seen here.
This and any past and future stories are not fabrications. This is Serious Business, all of which needed to be brought to everyones' attention. Consider yourself served. | | |
| This site was created to bring you the very latest, greatest, worst, but above all, the most Serious Business.
It's pretty simple. We bring you the most Serious Business at least every week. We will also keep you up to date on the most Serious Business, should it arise.
-Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin died last week. Most thought he was a bit of a joke but you can't deny the fact that he was a major animal advocate and probably an avid environmentalist.
-Albatross is a ship's good luck
-Bush says we need to break our dependence on foreign oil. If I'm not mistaken we saw this headline nearly a year ago when he gave the State of the Union Address. Thanks for the info, W.
-Hard drive failures
-The European Space Agency (ESA) launched a probe into the Moon this weekend at 4,500mph. From what they believe it added another 16-30 meter crater in the face of the Moon and the impact was viewable from Earth to those with powerful telescopes.
-Anal Virginity
-Samuel L. Jackson
-Root Beer
-There is more CO2 in the Earth's atmosphere than there has been in any of the past 800,000 years.
-Manbearpig
-Storms with names
-Running out of toilet paper
Here at Serious Business we do not put our lists in order. We feel that all of these subjects are Serious Business and should all be given attention and taken Seriously.
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